Archive for January, 2011

Why Comparison?







How do we feel when someone starts comparing us like materialistic things? When someone say oh your friend is looking much gorgeous or she is smarter then you? Definitely we will try to ignore that, but at a corner of our heart we felt ourselves as incomplete and unsatisfied personality. We want to be what we are not, we start expecting much more from ourselves, even sometimes in frustration we start blaming god to for his creation, like god cannot you make me beautiful, smart, rich why you write my destiny like this, nobody loves me, likes me? We imagine ourselves as a worst creation of god but do we ever think if we will not like ourselves in the way we are who else will like us? If we start finding faults in our creation, then why we are blaming others for same act?

Actually what is comparison and why we compare? Comparison is act when two persons having similar status or designation we starts analyzing them, at every aspect and the qualities which we like, when we found in one of them we starts expecting or imaging other to be same and starts comparing them to make aware about our expectation, our likings with them.

Is it healthy to compare? Definitely I would answer, no, we are not non living things so before paying cost we should compare and then do beneficial deal, we are living human beings, our comparison can hurt anyone self respect, he can feel inferiority complex, just to prove himself he can walk on wrong path, which can ruin his whole life. Once my relative came to my place one day he starts comparing me and starts forcing me to follow the people with whom he is comparing me, for few minutes I remain quite but when I saw no end and he starts hurting my self-respect, I told him I am happy with myself, I have few qualities which make me different and unique from others which gives me identity, secondly I have brain and people who have brain, do not follow others they make their own way and only follow that way so please don’t compare me.

Comparisons leads us to unhealthy competition we never feel happy for our success we get in life, but we always feel happiness as we left people behind in race of success and become idol for others and now people would compare themselves to us.

It’s very sad sometimes we involve our kids, we compare them and wants to make them best, without thinking in this process we are killing their childhood, its very unfair to judge small kids on our expectation god blessed each child with some qualities and growth phase of each child always differs from other some starts running while others starts speaking even if they belongs from same age group. What happen if our kids start us comparing with other parents and starts imposing their wishes, expectations on us? We will get angry on them and tell them to make themselves satisfy with what they are getting, as we always think they are not mature, but what we are doing with them is fair? No, kids are only following us, their elders, so before judging them we should judge ourselves.

Comparison between human being is really unjustified, god create us different why? As he sends us to fulfill different motive. The beauty of nature lies in different, as different opinion always make difference, it introduce us with new thoughts, imaginations and ideas to make life much better and wonderful,accept this different, feel happy and complete elevate spirit of living.


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Does past matter? Past does not matters but past experiences always matter.  If anyone asks me about my treasure I would surely answer, past experience, which I gained by passing through lots of hurdle. It is like a platform on which our present lies. I will like to tag it as a milestone to present; it makes us a better personality isn’t it? The lessons we learn from our past, we cannot learn by any other media, it boosts our confidence about the perception we make.

Its old saying nobody came here by learning from mothers tummy, we learn after we came in this world when we face whole world without any support system and people kicks us, we learn to manage ourselves, our emotions which is very precious learning in itself.

Can we make better present without past experience? Certainly not, in our present strategies we can clearly see the reflection of our past experience. `My father always says me never forget your past, if you want to get success in present your past will gives you actual identity what you are and what you want to be? The more obstacles you faced in past, the more you are stepping footsteps towards success’. I took these golden words, now my past failure is my inspiration which makes me much more polite for the people who are in similar situation.

 Who actually decides our behavior aspects, our attitude towards situation and the people standing in front of us how much we can rely on them, are they capable to maintain our trust our faith? Will they ditch us? All answers lies in our past experiences. Our past experiences help us to understand the intentions of others in a better way and analyze them,  our reaction index towards them will based on our experience,  if our experience was good we will interact with open arms with great attachment else we will try to ignore or behave accordingly,  isn’t it ?

 Life always teaches us new definitions, new meanings. Once my father met with accident, he suffered from minor brain hem rage, we admitted him and our relative who is living nearby without informing us, without thinking about my father’s condition, even after doctors suggestion, ‘you can’t manage him at home’ he took discharge. At home his condition become worst when we talked to him about this, besides realizing his mistake he starts blaming and cursing us and wants appreciation for what he did till that time. My father’s always rely on him but what a big shame? This time a new lesson for life is waiting for us we learn a lesson to differentiate between people as well as we learn the new definition of relationship, relations are not those which we get from our birth but relations are those which we make ourselves and maintain it by selfless by our soul.

Can u tell me why we worried about our kids when they are in growing age? Definitely, as we know the learning and experience of these years have a great influence on the rest of their lives.  This can groom them and mould them in great personality.

If we will analyze, our present, is result of our past activities what we did in past with lots of worthy learning, which plays true role of our friend in the time of need, it enlighten our path,  like a small amount of light which becomes a pathfinder for better today. If the problem does lie in the past, it is remarkably resistant to present life cures. This is because life is trying to force us to remember, what we need to know now by facing the wounds of the past. Our learning becomes our experience and experience makes us more mature.

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Destruction when this word clicks, what is our reaction? Generally people declared destruction as bad, worst or disaster but is it fair to think like this? When it comes to human being a person who rebels or opposes the rules of society he is living in, people tagged him as a destructive mind but do we ever think without destruction, what is the importance of construction? It is our human nature we always like positive, good but we forget good is good just because of bad, if we will not face rough phases in life we can never understand how good is meaningful to us, to our life.

My father generally says me ‘analyze destruction’, you will find, seeds of construction lies in the root of destruction, I asked him how?  today I came to know what he wants to say, when my daughter was breaking her toys and my hubby said ‘she is destructive’, once I was disappointed but when I look at her she was staring each and every part of toy by touching that, it seems that she is trying to explore something new for her, instead of getting angry I become happy and start helping her by telling her about different parts. It is just like potter who dig the sand patted it to make it soft and then mould in desired shape, digging and petting is like destruction but end result which came to us is constructive.

 Actually destruction is nothing, it is only our attitude, how we look at a situation, how we think, the things which are destructive to us may be constructive for others. once someone tagged me as current wire, I was shocked and feel shattered but suddenly a new thought came in my mind, if I am current wire, then we can use current in different ways in our life, to make life better and in present scenario can we expect our life without current? Certainly not and at other hand it is destructive only when we touch openly or use it carelessly. This is our fault isn’t it?

 Anyone would tell me why we adopt new things and discard old ones in our life? Correct as we want everything latest, want to make our life easy and comfortable by using them, in the same way if we change old thoughts according to generation, if we like to change old rituals in new way where we can enjoy them accept and follow them with open heart, it doesn’t mean we are having destructive thoughts it means we are reconstructing ourselves according the desire of new age.

So from next time if someone calls you rebellion then take it as compliment think why he is criticizing you, your views? Yes at some level your thinking is affecting his views his mental state, that’s why he is opposing you and hesitating to accept your opinion. If end result is fruitful then one day he will understand your way of thinking and accept that also don’t disappoint yourself.

 Actually while judging about destructive and constructive only our own perception works, it is like a glass which is filled half by water how we assess that half empty or half full. Destruction and Construction are like two sides of single coin, if we look at sunny side then by our intelligence, our wisdom we can convert destruction into construction, as, the voyage of discovery is not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes’ isn’t ?


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Why you are taking stress? Stress is not good for your health. You are lean as you take too much of stress we generally hear these statements but do we ever think about stress where it lies and from where it comes and occupy our mind, it is like uninvited and unwanted guest sometimes we become so frustrated, lose our peace, we blast out and become violent isn’t it?

 Actually stress is nothing it is a state of our mind when we regularly think about any topic or issue we generally starts to analyze that, about its good and bad effect on our life and we also predict what would happen like, if this or that will take place, what people will say how they will react, we starts living our life in future and unfortunately if the worst scenario we predicted comes true then faith on predictions become stronger, more and more we deeply think about that issue, lastly that issue become stress for us.

 It happens in everybody life we can say it is part and parcel of our life. When we expect something positive make strategies even take some steps accordingly and suddenly things went wrong then what will happen? Very true we become upset, for a positive expectation now we have to face a negative phase which is really unfair and unreasonable, we feel shattered and start blaming on others, our situation is like neither we can digest nor can we spit out.

 Is it fair just because of stress scare, we won’t enjoy our life’s small moments which fills us with positive energy, we won’t dream? I would answer never as a small positive energy spreads positive vibes in environment, that kills negativity where we can think positively, seeks for a better option before things go away from our hands, if we can put control on situation at some level then this positive energy will help to enlighten our humor and we can convert our worst to best,  as if one way has been blocked another ten options are waiting for us only we have to identify correct milestone for our success. Let’s fly with our dream with open eyes and actual potential.

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