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Archive for December, 2010

                                                    

                                                      

                                                         

                                                   

                                         

                              
Once I was teaching my child about social behavior, suddenly a thought came in my mind are we original? You also asked this question many times like me, when you look at your image in mirror. Each and every one of us has two faces, one for society in which we are living and one for ourselves, who we are.

 My sister asked me a question, why kids look so innocent? I answered as they are original from soul, they never hide what they want to show, means they are very much expressive about emotions they do not care about what people might think. If they want to cry they cry, they are happy they laughs loudly, even if they are scared they never hide they will hug us tightly, that’s why they look so peaceful… happy, After giving her reply I asked myself can we do it.

 If we want to cry we don’t, as a person who cries is declared as weak personality in society, if we want to laugh loudly and openly we cannot as it is not considered as a good manners , if we scared we don’t want to show that, infect we always show we are strong and bold why? Exactly as we don’t want to give chance to people, to crack joke on us or laugh at us.

Nature blessed us with few but unique qualities, which make us original but Are we able to maintain those qualities? After leaving childhood, we grew up and left those qualities or manipulate them according our desire to fulfill our motive. sometimes we become politicians who do politics ‘divide and rule’ and become diplomatic to achieve our goal, sometimes we become good manipulator who manipulates all principals to make situation according own desire, to take lead over people. Our policy become ‘by hook or crook’ we become so self-centered that we start to cheat people and pull them away from the race of success to confirm our success. We ourselves create such scenario and put blame on others why? Very true, as we do not want to ruin our image, our position in society.

Why we are walking along with two faces? Only because we are possessive about society, never, actually we don’t want to come out from our pre-occupied self image of innocent personality, we don’t want to feel shame on ourselves that’s why we always try to justify ourselves, in that process we kill our conscience. In short we are afraid to face ourselves, we don’t have answer of our deeds do we?

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How do you feel when somebody pass you a comment, misbehaves with you, ignores you, talk rudely? Definitely you will feel shatter, restless or low, one can tolerate any inadvertent mistake but not disrespect. Respect is very sensitive issue related to our life just like food is necessary for our body to survive; respect is nourishment of our soul nobody can live without it. Sometimes we use to fight over it at the extreme level isn’t it?

If somebody asks me who is biggest relationship destroyer? I would definitely answer disrespect, whenever we see a person who disrespects us, our blood starts boiling and we lose your mental peace, and temper isn’t it. If he apologies then also its very difficult for us to forgive. This emotional pain cannot heal by word sorry, as sorry is only an ointment which can heal wound but cannot remove scars. Sorry cannot heal dent driven on heart. We have to depend on time to heal.

What is the greatest gift we can give someone, which is valuable and nobody will hesitate to accept? Exactly respect, if we want to make someone happy show genuine respect towards him.  Remember there is great difference between genuine and superficial respect. Genuine respect comes directly from soul and superficial related to power and position and increase proportionately.      

This gift we must give to ourselves, self respect, it is much more worthy then other materialistic things in life. Self respect means; what is our worth for ourselves. We all have some qualities in our nature and principals made by us on which life runs smoothly, who make us unique and give us identity, we should respect those qualities. Self respect not only boosts our confidence but motivates us to take new challenges in life so that we can touch new heights. Self respect gives birth to self image and strong self image gives birth to success.

If we want to progress in our life, count respect, remember when we were kids, we respect our teachers why? Why don’t we argue with them? Why we accept their guidance? Can you answer these questions? I can, if we want to grasp knowledge provided by them, like to implement them in various situations and fields of life, then we have to follow their teachings without resistance, it make learning enjoyable.

Respect is basic foundation of feelings like trust, faith, love, truth and peace without respect they are like only words without sense everyone needs respect; it is the greatest source of joy and pleasure it develops potential in our personality, respect gives us reason to live and meaning to life isn’t ?

 

 

 

 

 

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Happiness, everyone is seeking for happiness , One day when my hubby asked me when and where is happiness? I told him don’t think too much and be happy. I left this question unanswered, but I raised this puzzle to myself where happiness lies, in memories, in thoughts, in success, in expectations, in luxuries or in future which is mystery in itself and is it as easy to follow ‘don’t worry’ as I advised him?  

When somebody hurts us can we easily forget that? physical pain can be cured by taking medicines but there is no remedy to cure pain touched to our soul, it only fills our life with sorrow and complaints we feel ourselves shattered isn’t it ? When it happened to me someone gave me medicine of happiness she asked me… a person that hurts you is more important than your smile, your peace? she asked me about his importance and existence in my priorities, when I answered I don’t like that person at all than she told me then why you are worried about him and his comments ignore him don’t answer or entertain him. It was difficult for me but I follow and now I am happy. as after that, I become neutral for him I have no feelings good or bad for him.

Sometimes when we have nothing then also we feel ourselves happy but sometimes we have everything we expected with us, to enjoy but we are not happy why? We are running behind success in that race we earn name, money, prosperity but we are losing happiness, soul satisfaction, remember a day when your heart start dancing without any music only on rhythm of your heart beat we will fail to find that .

 Actually happiness owes happiness, small moments of happiness are scattered around us but we are refusing to accept those, because of our desire to get more and more, for bigger we use to lose that small once, But when we get that bigger one for which we were waiting for long we cannot enjoy that also, as only we know what compromises and adjustments we made to earn that moment.

 More time we spend in future planning rather than enjoying present perception behind that is future planning is necessary for leading beautiful and peaceful life but people who have such great thought can answer me only one question do they know what will happen tomorrow or in coming minute?  No one can predict future then why we all take stress for that, Why don’t we live our present moment like it is last moment of our life to enjoy. Some people gave me comment oh! You are still a kid when you will get older? I replied, I am old by physic but still want to be kid by soul I don’t want to leave my childhood because I want to do fun I want to express my true feelings without being possessive about people living around me I don’t want to be idol for anyone but I want to admire beautiful gift given by god, “my life”. It seems I am little bit selfish here but  if I can’t satisfy my soul, I can’t admire my life, how can I satisfy others, if I am not happy then how can I make others happy.  

Life is like sand nobody can collect that in hand, each and every day it is going to be lesser. One day strong wind will come and take life along with, it’s better to complete the picture with happy “The End” where not only mind and body lives peacefully but soul get competent with a belief, god always gives us according to our potential he send us in full package of completeness to fulfill an aim given by him, which we have to complete in our life time.  

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HAPPINESS, in this world we can get everything money, fame, love, prosperity by our struggle our passion but one thing we cannot get is happiness, Happiness of soul, which we use to forget in carving of getting more and more.

 When we were kids we use to think oh god! when we will be younger , when we will take our own decision , when people will think we are responsible enough to handle each and every situation and they will hand over their responsibility to us thinking of this we were not able to enjoy our  childhood, time flies away we get younger our dream come true we put our leg in bigger shoes, we start to prove our self in the race of success, although we have luxuries to enjoy now we are part of crowd but from soul we are alone .

Sometimes we want to laugh or cry but we cannot show our emotions, as with prosperity we become possessive about people living around us before our feelings, we give importance to their views and comments as we want to be idol for others. Now we are nosatisfied with what we have.   After realize, we cannot go in past to enjoy childhood.

after some years we would get retire, beginning of old age immortal truth of life we would have child, grandchild, our life partner we can enjoy with them but in those relations we find ourselves helpless as we are now dependent on young generation for physical and mental protection, sometime generation gap occurs which make conflicts between near and dear, young generation wants to work in their own way they want to learn from their failure and we want to give benefit of our experience instead of convincing them we start imposing our decision to prove our experience. In this process lastly we feel ourselves contempt and incomplete, shattered and restless.

 Whole life we spend in doing profit and loss we earn…but beside these things we lose pleasure, quality time, and satisfaction. We forget happiness of life can be earned when we live with satisfaction, which gives birth to feeling of completeness. life is a journey and death is destination, phases of life are stations where life train can halt for  some years, but journey is not reached to destination journey will end with death. So count what matters to us happiness or superficial things?

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Marriage, it’s very difficult to define word marriage its truly said, ‘marriage is a laddu, a person who eats regrets, who does not also regrets.’ Sometime marriage becomes commitment, sometime love, sometime lust and sometime even disaster. Marriage takes lots of time to grow. Initial years of marriage play most important role in its growth. In these years if two people love, respect and trust each other then whole life they spend peacefully and happily otherwise home become war place and marriage become war.

 Marriage is like a plant it needs rays of trust, water of love, manure of understanding and protection of care and respect. In initial years misunderstanding between couples are common as after engagement they spend their life in air castles they are ready to do anything for each other even they swerve to die for each other. They like each other’s attitude; they never try to find out any faults in each other .life is like heaven. But when they got married situation takes U turn, as now family is also included in their love life. A third party, this can play supportive role or a reason of conflict.

 One partner left her home, her maiden family and come to your home with lots of dreams in her eyes she is new to your home, except husband, everyone is stranger for her. at this time husband role is like bridge between his partner and family if he could make balance between them  then family life runs smoothly  but if husband hides anything related to his family , which effects her life , after sometime when she comes  to know about that then trust and respect for her husband shakes same situation lies with family if husband hides her wife’s  habits  and necessary  things which play important role in her life from family then sometimes unknowingly  they hurt her , and misunderstanding between them take place.

 In this relation it is important that husband behavior should be neutral for both sides of bridge as one small misunderstanding can be a big issue for future and as time passes it is difficult not only to handle but to solve that, both sides’ starts finding faults in each and every matter they never ready to walk together, because of this stress marriage starts ruining. They both start hurting each other. Understanding between them is now zero as husband is not ready to accept his mistake in matter arisen, and wife she is not ready to forgive him and his family for repeated mistakes. If husband walk honestly on this runway then he can handle it easily, he should give equal respect to both sides, he should keep them on same platform  to judge the situation genuinely.

Second reason when married life become hell is one partners hide something from other in their personal life it give wrong intention to other partner suspect take place of love which make their relation hollow.  Doesn’t matter reason behind hiding but he if they trust they should openly share everything weather that is good or bad. They should stand beside each other in each and every situation not in front of each other. one should not scared from situation or reaction of other side, may be scenario looks bed for sometime but result will be definitely good . Trust make their relation more stronger than before.

Third reason behind conflict is their nature, way of thinking, everyone is unique and it is not possible to have similar nature, better half means if one is having  one quality and other don’t then they should balance that by fulfill each other’s place like if one is introvert personality and other is extrovert then extrovert personality should fulfill the place of introvert, Without expecting introvert to change according his or her wishes. One should respect what other is having.  Don’t force to change as force will give birth to rebel. they should not interfere in way of living life as it depends on upbringing except some issue which can harm not only oneself but other partner also like health ,hygiene.

Fourth obstacle which is very common everyone wants space to grow and think this space is necessary to run each and every relation. As for that understanding between two is important they should give and respect each other privacy.

Small choices automatically changes accordingly when love exist in relation. They like to give surprises gifts, which is a way to shower love on darling partner, even they can spend quality time together by going on holidays at place they like. If they color themselves with love and care for each other they will never get bore from marriage, after years their marriage will never get old.

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